unapologetic.

I am accountable and responsible for my actions. don't call "a mistake" what I call "a calculated decision", don't call "a mistake" what I call "defending myself". does "being unapologetic" mean that I never apologize? no, it does not. and I will NOT apologize for what I stand by, I will NOT apologize for what is not wrong, I will NOT apologize for being myself, for what I believe in, for speaking and standing up for myself and others, for not being silenced (because I won't be silenced), and I will NOT apologize for not "just accepting" abuse, mistreatment, hostility, lies, manipulation, gaslighting, controlling behaviour, projection/displacement, disrespect of boundaries, cyber-stalking, and so on and so forth. I respect myself, I am accountable and responsible for MY actions and MY healing (NOT yours), and I do NOT apologize.

some things about manifestation /// it's not about having "no doubts" and "high vibes"

some things about manifestation

(some of these things are things that I've been saying for years, and I've been noticing other people finally starting to say this kind of stuff, too, lol -- for so long it was "you need to believe, you need to have high vibes", etc., now people are starting to say stuff like what I've been saying for a long time)

• manifestation is not about new age stuff, the law of this or that, the occult, witchcraft, belief without doubts / having no doubts and "high vibes" / being positive all the time
• you don't have to believe, you can just decide (you can even be delusional / "gaslight" yourself in a positive way), you can spam your mind with what you want and reprogram your mind, 
• faith is a combination of belief and decision -- you get to decide what to believe and believe that you can just decide -- we have power through faith, from the creators
• your emotions do not decide your outcome, you don't have to feel positive all the time, you don't have to try to stifle your emotions or get scared and freak out when you experience "negative" emotions, why would you want to listen to something that makes you scared of your own emotions anyone and just causes you to suffer?
• just because you think something or have intrusive thoughts doesn't mean that it's going to manifest or that you're going to "ruin" your manifestation, choose to tell yourself that that wouldn't happen, that doesn't happen, that's not how it works, you literally get to decide your own manifestation rules
• stop accepting limiting teachings of "new age" / occult teachers, "this is how you manifest", "no, this is how you manifest", "like attracts like", "no, like repels like", "no, you have to find your manifestation point between your mind and your heart", "no, you have to do these techniques", "no, you need high vibrations", "you need to be a vibrational match to what you want", "you need to get into the vortex", "you need to get rid of your resistance", "you need to get rid of your limiting beliefs", "you need to let it go", "fear is a self-fulfilling prophecy" (shut up, it is not), "you need to realize that you are 'universal consciousness'", "you need to realize that you are brahma", "you need to clear your karmic debt", "you need to have a kundalini awakening", 'you need to unlock your chakras", etc., etc., etc., and blah-blah-blah.
• lastly, do I personally believe that *literally anything* can be manifested? no. no, I do not. there ARE some things that just cannot be manifested. and there are things that people should just not do / even try to do. (and I'm not talking about the money or job or car, etc., that you might want to manifest.) morals still exist. we all have our own realities, and we share a reality at the same time. just because you get to be in control of your own personal reality doesn't mean that you should treat everyone else like trash or try to manifest evil things.

my mom’s birthday (an appreciation post), plus every mother counts and charity miles

my mom’s birthday is coming up. 😊 it’s on the 4th of April, and we’ve been coming up with some different ideas for a while. one thing I really want to get for her (not that she ever asks for stuff like this, but she deserves it) is a designer bag. and I’ve already decided on one, but I won’t say or show which one just yet, though, lol. (I can update this post in a few days to show stuff, teehee.) I’ll just mention that it’s by the brand MKF (that’s Mia K. Farrow). I’ve already picked out a birthday card for her, too. and my husband agreed with me on the card and the bag that I chose for her. so, fancy-fancy stuff for my mom’s birthday. (update before publishing: got the designer bag and the birthday card for her. 😊) my husband is planning to get her something from the local Thai restaurant that he does deliveries for (he gets to choose some food from there as part of his payment on days that he does deliveries). and my dad is also planning to buy food from there for us to eat at home. as for decorations, I still have some balloons to decorate with, and my dad agreed to look for streamers at the store (we should still have some somewhere there, just in case). another thing that I did for her birthday was to let her choose 2 flowers for me to plant on my island in “Castaway Paradise” (mobile version, I play both the mobile and Xbox versions of the game), and I have a little gameplay video of planting the flowers that I’ll be posting to YouTube soon. (there was a little vintage sewing machine figure that I found on SheIn that she would’ve liked, but I wanted to make sure first whether or not it had that prop 65 warning that sometimes shows on items on SheIn, and it did, so I didn’t get it. I don’t want to give something with toxic chemicals to my mom. there were some other things from SheIn that would’ve been nice to get for her. such as a hat, some arm warmers, and something else? right now, I’m not really sure what it was. I also wanted to get another prayer scarf for her. one that I really liked that I would’ve liked to get for both myself and for her ended up being sold out, but I manifest that it’ll be back soon, lol (I already did that with a designer bag that I wanted and still want - it sold again, but I’m just manifesting for it to come back again, lololol). there were some other scarves that I saw, too, but I really liked that particular one (it’s pink and floral, it’s so cute and dainty). another thing that would have been nice to get for her is a Guatemalan mothering doll (we have ancestral ties to Guatemala — my grandma and great aunt are from there), but they were sold out. I want one for myself, too, lol (I asked my mom to make one for me, maybe I can make one for her, too, at some point — I’m also thinking of crocheting a gift or gifts for her for her birthday). a Guatemalan mothering doll is basically of a mother with her little baby, and she carries her little baby in a sling. I found the dolls through a collaboration with Every Mother Counts and the shop called Luna Zorro. Every Mother Counts is a charity whose mission is to make pregnancy and childbirth safe for every mother. I don’t usually trust charities, but they do have a rating of 100%, and I hope that they truly are legit. I chose to support that charity via Charity Miles, which is a charity app where one can track their exercise and raise money for charity of their choice. if you’d like to sponsor me (the proceeds support Every Mother Counts), the information is listed below.

Charity Miles for Every Mother Counts. I’d be grateful for your support. If you’re in a position to do so, please click here to sponsor me. https://miles.app.link/e/2vkv7Fi2Eyb

last year, I got some painting books for my mom that she wanted, and I wanted to get some flowers for her (I wanted to send my husband some flowers, too, heheh, and I did). my sister sent flowers to her, and my mom was really happy with the gifts that she received. she really loves her family, and that’s what matters to her the most. I’d like to send some flowers to my mom this year. she prefers to receive planted flowers. it’s sad when cut flowers wither, but they can be saved and used in crafts / as decorations (that’s what I’ve done with flowers that my husband has gotten for me). I really like to do nice things for my parents and give them gifts.
happy birthday, Mom! (ahead of time, lol.)

note: I started this post on 30 March 2023, wrote the majority of it on 1 April 2023, and then added some final stuff to it on 2 April 2023, which is when I’m publishing it.