I've also experienced eating disorders for a big portion of my life. (I did start to become more comfortable wearing certain things during part of a very disordered time period, too, like shorts, etc. I also started wearing skirts and then dresses again, too. I'd avoided wearing dresses and skirts for a while, dressing/styling myself boyishly. in another post, I wrote about how I'd internalized negative messages about my body and about femininity.)
I never fully recovered and couldn't fully let it go, I still felt and feel the nostalgia and the sentimentality, there was and is still part of me that misses it - even as my mindset has changed so much over the years. there were times over even the past few years where I would be restricting again on-and-off or engaging in other behaviours (and it's not that I didn't believe in or want to be healthy, I did and do, and I've already known about health/nutrition/fitness for a long time, but it's a combination of wanting both to be healthy/strong and to continue holding onto the disorder - I just want to clarify that I don't always think about this stuff, but sometimes it does still come up).
but I've realized this year, in dealing with certain health concerns, I can't do that again, I can't restrict my intake again, etc. (I still experience the nostalgia stuff, mentality stuff, the urge to engage in disordered stuff, etc.) my intake has already been pretty limited, very limited at times. I need to keep taking care of myself, keep nourishing myself. I already officially stopped purging in 2021. I and my body are still healing from the effects of those disorders.
as I said, I've become more comfortable wearing certain things, and I shouldn't be shamed for that. yes, I wear mini/tennis skirts, shorts, crop tops, bikinis, and things like that sometimes. I rarely ever wear short skirts/dresses out into public, though, and I also don't wear leggings as pants out in public. again, I always make sure that I'm properly covered. I wear undershorts with skirts, dresses, loose shorts, etc.
I see wearing certain things in my content as different from wearing them out in public. in my content, I can control what shows, I can control the angles, I can edit/crop, etc. in public, there might be a breeze, I might need to sit down or move around. I've already talked in some of my content about not feeling comfortable wearing leggings as pants out in public, I'll wear shorts over leggings, or wear leggings along with a dress or a skirt - I need to feel covered. I've basically also talked about not really feeling comfortable wearing mini skirts out in public, I tend to keep checking that they're laying right and to keep adjusting them and/or holding them down at times (like when it's windy/breezy or in general).
I can dress fire and be modest at the same time. I wear what I want, my clothing choices don't define my character. I dress for myself and my husband. I like to wear what I think is cute, pretty, dainty, delicate, ethereal, fancy, fire, cool, comfortable, etc. my body is art, my body is a temple, my body is my friend. my body is a body, it's natural, it's a natural thing. my body is beautiful.
"your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in [the creators'] sight." - 1 Peter 3:3-4
"I also want women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship [the creators]." - 1 Timothy 2:9-10
I personally choose to view these scriptures as not necessarily saying that it's wrong to wear those things, jewelry, expensive clothes, braided hair, etc., but as talking about one's character and conduct. and I do also hope that was the actual intent/meaning of them.
"for there is no respect of persons with [the creator]. for as many as have sinned without law shall also perish without law: and as many as have sinned in the law shall be judged by the law; (for not the hearers of the law are just before [the creators], but the doers of the law shall be justified." - Romans 2:11-13
"for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of [the creators], and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by [the messiah]." - Romans 3:23-24
"no respect of persons" basically = "everyone is equal".
"the wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. in the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife." - 1 Corinthians 7:4
