some things that are in my skincare routine~!!!

 

some things that I use for skincare~:

~ trader joe's rose spray

~ physician's formula rose serum

~ vitamin c

~ bare republic sunscreen (over 30 spf)

~ elf coconut water facial sheet masks

~ coconut oil

~ olive oil

~ gua sha (stainless steel only!!!)

~ derma rollers (be so very careful!!!)

~ dry brushing (I have a softer brush for my face and a coarser brush for my body)

~ dr teals coconut oil lotion (I add coconut oil, olive oil, & some face mask excess, etc.)

~ organic banana peels (yeahp, I just rub the inside of the peels on my skin!!!)

and soon I will be getting some olive oil soap~!

(side note: I just started using prescription differin gel on my skin, so we'll see how that goes.)  

subliminal experience: social media fame subliminal (and subliminal flush/restarter) /// (will update soon!)

hello! so, to start with, I am currently listening to a subliminal flush by kapelsu (currently just playing it on 1x speed and volume 6 on my iPhone). I'm planning to speed it up and turn it lower after the first play-through. I'm also wearing ear plugs (not earbuds/earphones, protective ear plugs) and headphones over them.

here is the subliminal flush: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gxZw2bsSQ7M&t=6s

and here is the tiktok fame subliminal: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84KQps0faMk&t=49s

21 Oct 2021: I currently have: 1,668 (had 1,669 before) followers on TikTok before listening to the subliminal, so we'll see how much it increases over the next period of time. 826 Instagram followers. 815 Twitter followers. 865 YouTube subscribers. and 376 Facebook likes / 381 Facebook follows. (edit: I accidentally put "865 Twitter followers" yesterday? but I meant to put that for YouTube subscribers.)

I listened to the subliminal flush/restarter about 5x (most of the times, I listened to it low on 2x speed).

now currently listening to the social media fame subliminal by Nightshade Subliminals (looped on 2x speed). (I went through a bunch trying to decide which one to listen to and post about, and I deleted a lot from one of my playlists.) I will update soon! 'bye for now!

note: the fame subliminal audio goes quiet sometimes, just so you don't think it's your device or headphones, lol. I keep checking mine to make sure, but it seems like it's just the audio (so far).

22 Oct 2021: so, I don't really remember how many times I listened to the social media fame subliminal last night, I think it was around 5-6 times, but maybe it was more? today, I played it for over 1 hour and 13 minutes at 2x speed and on a loop (I wasn't in the room for a small portion of the time and kinda forgot about it, but that's okay). I gained 4 followers on TikTok and 2 followers on Instagram, and 1 subscriber on YouTube. BUT - that's pretty normal for me. we'll see how it keeps going! temporarily re-locating to LA soon, so gonna be busy for a while, but I like keeping busy by posting content, too, so I'll still try to update until I get significant results! (let's aim for over the next 1-4 weeks, but I want to write about other subliminals, too.) okay, 'bye for now again!

13 Sept 2022: I haven't listened to this subliminal in a long time, but I'd like to start again soon. (I'm currently listening to a subliminal for fading scars, and I just published a post for that, which I plan to update about.) here's my current follower/subscriber info: 908 YouTube subscribers, 1,845 TikTok followers, 935 Instagram followers. I plan to write/update about other subliminals soon / in the near future, too. also, a note, flush/restarter subliminals are not absolutely necessary, a subliminal could just be "spammed" for as much as possible for the aim of a 30-day time period to reprogram the mind with the positive affirmations, instead of trying to use a flush/restarter, but that doesn't mean that they are not beneficial, either (such as flushing affs that one doesn't claim). but as for getting rid of "limiting beliefs", it's not necessary to be hyperaware of them / try to dig them up to get rid of them. it's just not necessary to try to dig deep and find "limiting beliefs" to try to get rid of them, it's easier to just "spam" the mind with the positive affs to reprogram it. if stuff comes up ("limiting" stuff, trauma, etc.), it can be addressed as it appears (as possible) and replaced with the healing, positive stuff. it's not absolutely necessary for trauma to be dug up and acknowledged for it to be cleared. sometimes, it can be helpful and therapeutic to identify/acknowledge stuff, and sometimes, it might just be better not to think of something, remember something, label something, etc. it's not necessary to be hyperaware of and/or overthink about traumas and mental/behavioural stuff.

17 Sept 2022: okay, so, I'm starting to continue this. I have 1,848 TikTok followers, 935 938 Instagram followers, 910 YouTube subscribers, and 10 YouTube subscribers via my ASMR channel. listening to the subliminal on a loop (I'll still be continuing with updating my subliminal experience post for the one for getting rid of / fading scars).

29 Nov 2023: I’m going to be starting listening to this again, and I plan to update. listed below is a brief summary of my social media progress since listening to this subliminal.

21 Oct 2021:

* YouTube: 865 subscribers

* TikTok: 1,668 followers

* mainInstagram: 826 followers

* Twitter: 815 followers

* Facebook: 376 likes, 381 follows

22 Oct 2021:

* +4 TikTok followers

* +2 Instagram followers

* +1 YouTube subscriber

(that was pretty normal for me, though, and I was planning to continue listening)

13 Sept 2022:

hadn’t listened for a while, and I planned to start listening again

* YouTube: 908 subscribers

* TikTok: 1,845 followers

* Instagram: 935 followers

17 Sept:

starting to listen again point

* YouTube: 910 subscribers

* asmr channel: 10 subscribers

* TikTok: 1,848 followers

* Instagram: 938 followers

29 Nov 2023:

* main YouTube: 936 subscribers

* asmr channel: 25 subscribers

* gaming channel: 9 subscribers

* main TikTok: 2,220 followers

* cosplay TikTok: 7 followers

* asmr TikTok: 10 followers

* gaming TikTok: 4 followers

* Etsy shoppe TikTok: 4 followers

* main Instagram: 986 followers

* cosplay IG: 22 followers

* other cosplay IG: 49 followers

* animals IG: 50 followers

* Etsy shoppe IG: 82 followers

subliminal experience: receive unexpected money (in one listen) subliminal

hi, everyone, I recently used this subliminal, and I actually did receive money the very same day! first of all, my fiancé gave me some emergency money, and I also got an eBay sale (the money for that sale, itself, just went through yesterday, I believe, but the fact that I even got that sale the SAME day as the subliminal).

the subliminal is called "receive unexpected money (in one listen) subliminal." by Loomin's Subliminals, and I listened to it a few times, I believe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=20xHgNeGshs

I'm not sure if my InboxDollars e-paycheck might've also gone through on that day, but I might update on that soon. (actually, I just checked, and it was the 18th of October, but I listened to the subliminal on the 19th, so nevermind.)

anyway, I'm gonna be updating more on my experiences with subliminals, I find it really encouraging and helpful (like a "placebo" to help it manifest that much more). I have more experiences with subliminals, and I'm gonna be testing out more, so stay tuned! (I've listened to a lot and will be listening to a lot more.) 'bye!

related:

10 rules for subliminals :) /// DECIDE to BELIEVE, BELIEVE to DECIDE

subliminal experience: manifest ALL wishes INSTANTLY (will be updating) /// updated!!!

if you found this helpful/encouraging. please consider contributing a small amount of money (my venmo is @AmyRoseMainCharacter) or sign up for Fetch Rewards with my referal link. thank you!

subliminal experience: manifest ALL wishes INSTANTLY (will be updating) /// updated!!!

intro: alright, I’ll be blogging my experiences with specific subliminals and my progress manifesting with them. I have and will have other ones to talk about, but I’ll be focusing on this one for manifesting wishes by chai subliminals: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MHO3hhuXoWs I’m using it, bc I have two appointments tomorrow. I moved one of them up from a later date to be tomorrow, because they’re both in the same area, which is a bit far from me, but the one that I moved up is 30 minutes before the other one, so I’m trying to reschedule the second one just a little bit later, so that I won’t be late.

update: forget it. it probably won’t work just like everything else.

update: guess what? this is just proof that you don’t need to be in the absolute best place to manifest. this morning, I got a call from the ENT’s office, asking if I could go in earlier, because the ENT had an emergency surgery today. not exactly how I was trying to manifest the appointments being more spaced out, but it’s the same effect. this is why we should try to keep an open mind when manifesting, because sometimes things manifest in a different and maybe even better way than we were trying to go about it. :) I’ll update again soon (I’m in the car now, lol, and I don’t want to stay staring at my phone for too long in the car — plus, it’s also kinda complicated to update from my phone, pretty inconvenient and tedious, so I’ll be updating from a computer soon, hopefully). ‘bye for now!

update: updating from home on my laptop as I said earlier. I was able to go to both appointments with time to spare, got to the second one pretty early, and filled out some more forms (the first one didn't really make me fill out forms, they just asked me some questions, filled it out for me, and then I just had to sign some stuff), but I was in the patient room around exactly the time that my dermatology appointment was scheduled for, which is really good! I have some more appointments coming up soon, but I'm planning to cancel one and then either cancel the other one or try to follow through with it (I changed it from an in-person appt to a virtual one).

MORE DETAILS: it's important not to get too hung up on the details (of how many times to listen to the subliminal or how to use subliminals or checking for results, etc.), but I listened to the subliminal about 6 times (about 2.75 of the times, I sped it up to 2x speed). also, I didn't keep calling the place, I only called them twice yesterday (and that's because they asked me to call back in 1 hour), then I later got a phone call to confirm, and they put me on a waiting list to see if my dermatology appt could be moved forward a bit, then the other place called for me to go in earlier for my ENT appt, so it all worked out!

NOTE: AGAIN, as I always teach, you do not need to be in "the best place" to manifest. manifestation is not about "high vibrations" or "staying totally positive and blocking out absolutely every negative thought and doubt ever". people have doubts sometimes. you can manifest even if you have doubts. manifestation is about belief/decision/faith, not about feelings. I'm not saying that they absolutely never influence manifestation, but the way that feelings can influence your manifestations is really through your observance/focus/beliefs about them.

related:

10 rules for subliminals :) /// DECIDE to BELIEVE, BELIEVE to DECIDE

subliminal experience: receive unexpected money (in one listen) subliminal

if you found this helpful/encouraging. please consider contributing a small amount of money (my venmo is @AmyRoseMainCharacter) or sign up for Fetch Rewards with my referal link. thank you!

AS SEEN ON MY SOCIALS /// WHERE I BUY STUFF~!!! (TIKTOK/KAWAII/COTTAGECORE/CRAFTING/COSPLAY/ETC.

 

eh. not really sure what to say. *WARNING: this post discusses eating disorder elements.* (19 July 2021)

*WARNING: this post discusses eating disorder elements.*

not really sure what to say. this is kinda eh, but it's cute, & I made it look like me, I don't usually display stuff like this. I'm not really focused on one exact specific number, though. (and I know that I don't NEED to lose weight. also, my current weight could be a bit lower than [removed] (in fact, it probably is), because I weighed [removed]. at the medical clinic last week, and I've been restricting yet again.

a few months ago when I was restricting, I had signs of my period, but then it was super late and didn't happen at all for a little while (it skipped about a month), and I believe that I finally had amenorrhea again ... but temporarily, because it came back after a little while. I started to eat some more / some more of certain things. specifically, I remember starting to eat spoonfuls of peanut butter here and there. (I started to eat more of certain things to encourage hair growth / faster hair growth, because I cut my hair really short and wanted it to grow back faster. my hair already grows pretty fast, but I wanted to make it grow back even faster. I was also listening to subliminals for it. I also started making and using rice water for my hair, but I didn't really use it that consistently and haven't used it in a while.)

MyFitnessPal hasn't been letting me log in on the app, though, lately, so I've been trying to use the website (but it's really frustrating), and keeping track in my phone's notes until I can track it in the app. I might get the app that my boyfriend has/had, though, I believe that it's MyPlate (which is from LiveStrong, which I used to used about a decade ago). There's so much nostalgia there in my disordered memories. It's been almost 10 whole years this year since I was first hospitalized (and subjected to a whole new kinda trauma that is EDO "treatment").

I've been thinking about not purging anymore or as much again lately (because I started to purge more often again this year after it had become rare / only 1 to a few times yearly for  a few years), because I was reading "Wintergirls" (just recently finished it), and the description of Cassie's graphic death scene just ... and I already know about stuff like that and already have some anxiety about purging sometimes (several years ago I started experiencing what I think of as "purging anxiety", because I started becoming really anxious before purging and was torn between following through or not ... that was when I wasn't purging quite as much as I used to) ... I already know that people have died while purging, and I've had my own scary experiences years ago (not sure about mentioning them just yet) ... like I said, I've been thinking about not purging anymore / as much again lately -- as in going back to rarely, because I know that there's still this rule in my head that I can't let a whole year pass without purging, and I KNOW that that's related to obsessions and compulsives (OCs), I know it's related to OCD (not just EDO stuff) -- but also at the same time, it kind of also gives me the urge to purge. so I still simultaneously have the anxiety not to and the urge to do it more (but the anxiety is more prominent than usual lately). but, of course, I don't want to deal with more issues than I already have dealt with from purging before. of course, I still remember feeling so weak and drained and crying on my bed, afraid that I couldn't stop, that I would keep doing it. I know that I wanted to be able to stop, and I was able to do it less and less and less, but I don't fully want to stop forever. it's something that seems so easy, but it's also so risky in so many ways. but it's something that's more of a last resort than a regular thing to me now. I was and am glad that I was able to stop purging so much AND that I was able to start eating more normally after hospitalization(s), but even after so long, I still don't want to fully let "this stuff" go.

sometimes, I get the urge to re-join MPA, but I just can't even though part of me wants to. it's scary and triggering for me (for other reasons, including OCD-related and morality-related reasons). it just seems better for me to fixate over this stuff by myself (and talk to my bf about it when I need/want to) and avoid unnecessary triggering content/interactions. I do talk to my boyfriend about this personal stuff -- and, of course, he loves me and worries about me and wants me to be healthy and strong.

on one hand, I do want to be healthy and strong, but on the other hand, I still don't want to be fully recovered and still want to do the disordered behaviours deep down (even though I don't necessarily always do them all the time, even though I haven't been emaciated in kind of a long time and my weight has fluctuated so much over the past decade after hospitalization -- the second hospitalization, anyway ... I mean, it was going down, but I had to eat more and gain a bit more when in partial out-patient, or they'd have sent me back to in-patient, so I had to make the choice so that I could stay in partial and not have to go back to IP, but I wasn't even emaciated anymore at that point, so that's kind of stupid for them to use that as a threat, "gAiN wEiGhT oR gO bAcK tO IP". (not exactly how it was said, though, they weren't being menacing, it was a warning, but it was still kind of a threat in a technical sense.)

*this content is not encouraging eating disorders and/or the development thereof. I personally never fully recovered and never fully wanted to let go of EDO, but I do encourage recovery for others and recommend NEDA.org as a resource for recovering/healing from EDOs (eating disorders).*

bleh (11 October 2021)

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from an otherwise healthy-feeling day to feeling sick. I need to rest before my appointment today.

planning to start updating more on here soon. (like I used to.)

also, my birthday was on the 5th of October (today is 11 October). spent it with my fiancé, our cat, my stuffed animals (lol), and my parents.

my birthday wishlist: https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2TLB2HKRHR6IH?ref_=wl_share